This week’s recipe is rather simple but horrendous, nonetheless. Why anyone would serve a cooked banana, ham, mustard, and hollandaise sauce “with a nice green salad” is beyond me. The Ham and Bananas Hollandaise recipe comes from Vintage Recipe Cards, which is a must-follow Instagram account, in my humble opinion. So. Many. Terrifying. Recipes. It could singlehandedly keep me busy for YEARS.
Ingredients:
6 medium bananas 1/4 cup lemon juice 6 thin slices of boiled ham 3 tablespoons prepared mustard 2 envelopes of hollandaise sauce mix 1/4 cup light cream
Or, if you’re me:
1 medium banana
1 slice of ham
Squirt of mustard
Envelope of hollandaise sauce mix
Dog bowls for the leftovers
I want to start by giving a hearty THANK YOU to the grocery store clerk that only put one banana in my grocery order instead of a whole bunch. You saved me from myself.
First, preheat the oven to 400 and butter a baking dish. Squirt some mustard on your slice of ham and wrap the banana in it. Place your banana in the baking dish and bake that sucker for 10 minutes.
Oh yeah, and sprinkle your banana with lemon juice first. Otherwise, your banana comes out looking like this:
Meanwhile, make your hollandaise sauce according to the package directions. Do not waste scratch-made hollandaise on this travesty. Remove your banana(s) from the oven, cover with sauce and return to the oven for 5 more minutes. Not sure this adds anything to the recipe, besides extra work. Once your timer goes off, giddily wait for your husband to get home from work to share this “new adventure”.
Not gonna lie, I expected this to be far worse. It tastes like mashed plantains with ham in them. Does the sweetness of the banana get lost in the mustard? Or is it the hollandaise? Or just from a general sense of apathy? After tasting one bite, my husband called this recipe “the family tradition nobody asked for”. We gave the remaining 93% of the banana to the dogs, who happily cleaned up.
Final Rating: Not awful. But too phallic looking to be served in polite company.
Comments