We have finally rid the house of the Spaghettio smell, so it's time for one of my all-time favorite pairings, and no it's not some wine and cheese suggestion. It's Snoop and Martha! These two have a cooking show together and it honestly made my LIFE.
We'll start with Snoop's recipe first because we're going in order of popularity to me. Snoop's cookbook, "From Crook to Cook" is honestly a friggin' delight, with recipes such as Billionaire's Bacon and Bow Wow Brownies (plus or minus the green stuff). It even has a foreword written by our girl Martha. For my Snoop submission, I've selected the OG Fried Bologna Sandwich, which is a "certified hood classic", and it includes:
Not 1, not 2, but 3 slices of bologna
1 Tablespoon butter
2 slices of white bread
1 teaspoon yellow mustard
3 slices of American cheese
Barbecue potato chips, as many as you want
First, you take the bologna and cut a slit in each slice from the middle to the outer edge to keep the bologna from curling up on you when you cook it. (Why did I never think of this!?) Next, you toast the bread in the skillet with the butter like you would for a grilled cheese.
Then, you fry the bologna on both sides, putting the cheese on it at the last minute to melt. Use a big skillet for frying your bologna, because frying it one slice at a time is FOR THE BIRDS. Especially if your husband surprises you by asking for his very own whole sandwich. (Bro, I thought we were sharing. No, no it's fine.) Spread the mustard on the toasted bread and assemble your sandwich with as many barbecue chips as it will hold. You do you, honey. Then stuff it in your face!
This was by far the best-tasting recipe we've done yet. I'm hereby certifying this as a suburbs classic too. *Pauses to research Official Basic Bitch trademark*
Now, on to Martha. I think my friend Dane said it best while we were talking about when we really started liking Martha, saying, "I only started enjoying her post-prison."
I found a 1980's Martha cookbook called "Quick Cook Menus" which are supposedly whole meals you can make in an hour. It contains helpful Coastal Grandmother suggestions such as using a "fruit-patterned tablecloth beneath the green Harlequin plates" to pick up the "colors of the ratatouille in this menu". Girl, nobody got time for that.
The thing I appreciate about this cookbook is that 90% of the dessert recipes are just fruit with booze.1980's Martha was either too busy or too drunk to bake. Recipes include Grapefruit with Cointreau, Blackberry Sorbet with Blackberry Liqueur, Berries with Framboise, Champagne-Poached Peaches, and this week's feature, Frozen Grapes with Frangelico. And there are only 2 ingredients:
grapes, 1 lb. red and 1 lb. green
hazelnut liqueur
All you do is freeze the grapes until they are hard then put them in a little bowl and pour the booze over them. The book suggests you thrift some cranberry-colored glass to serve them in for a "spectacular presentation". (LOL)
GUYS, these grapes were a revelation. Upon tasting this, Dane said, "OK Martha, I SEE you!" Which is a high compliment in gay. The grape-sicles are frosty and sweet, and the hazelnut liqueur tastes a little more like almonds when paired with them. And a little more like fun when paired with my morning coffee.
Final Rating: Snoop and Martha, still a good pairing. Would freeze the grapes in a plastic (non-cranberry-crystal) container, pour the booze on top and take them to the pool. And talk someone else into making the sandwich for me post-swim.
Footnote: All quotes were blessed by Bestie Dane himself. And if you need me, I'll be stuck here for the next several hours until someone wakes up from her nap.
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