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Writer's pictureSheila

Peace, Love, and Pineapples

I’ve been doing lots of travel lately, for work and fun, but nothing compares to coming home to your family. Who else can you annoy as much as you annoy your family, am I right? During my travels, I was able to go down to the woods in Southeast Texas to see my mom and my Aunt Missy. (Yes, Texas has woods. No, I didn’t ride a horse to school. Yes, I graduated high school at the rodeo arena. Thanks for asking.)


Aunt Missy owns about 6 total cookbooks, and in her stash, I found this surprisingly new church recipe book from the Oswego Missionary Baptist Church in Tennessee. And while there weren’t any recipes I wanted to save for my own recipe box in it, I did find a few good ones to annoy my family with, including this Pineapple Casserole.



Ingredients:


1 can crushed pineapple, 20 oz.

½ cup sugar

3 Tablespoons flour

1 cup cheddar cheese, shredded

½ cup butter, melted

½ cup buttery crackers, crushed



Now, you can see the problem here. Why in tarnation would someone put cheddar cheese in what would otherwise be a perfectly good dessert?? Looking at you apple pie/cheddar cheese people!


You start by draining the pineapple while reserving 3 Tablespoons of the juice. We wouldn’t want soggy casserole, now, would we? Then, you mix the flour, sugar, and pineapple juice into a sticky, gummy paste. I know your mouth is watering already.



Mix in your pineapple and your cheese. Chase your kid down to retrieve the box of crackers. Hope there are some left in the sleeve. Crush the crackers up and release any pent-up rage into the ether. Pour melted butter over the top and stir, then sprinkle the buttery cracker crumbs over the top of the pineapple mixture.



Bake at 350 for 20-30 minutes, or until the top is golden brown.


I took this out of the oven and made my husband taste it first. His immediate reaction was, “It tastes like microwaved Easy Cheese on a cracker.” Also, “It has the texture of a casserole, and that makes it disappointing.” Not a great start.


I tried it for myself, and it tasted a lot like a pineapple cobbler. But with a smattering of salty flavor in each bite. Not a good surprise, but not the worst thing I’ve put in my mouth either. Y’all hush.



My kid was unavailable for comment, as she had already filled up on crackers. The dogs had long given up on me since I had finished shredding the cheese. The new rescue dog, Frito, hasn’t quite figured out that the kitchen equals snacks yet, but he’ll catch on soon. I have no doubt.



Final Rating: The church ladies are trolling us, y’all. Omit the cheddar cheese and have some pineapple cobbler instead.

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