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Writer's pictureSheila

Going Ham

This week’s recipe is courtesy of “The Meats Cookbook” by Southern Living published in MCMLXXI - you figure out what year that is, I’m not doing math today. I found it at a thrift store for one whole dollar and it includes all sorts of meats in loaves, molds, and jellies. I was dying to make the Danish Garden Salad recipe, which consists of vegetables and gelatin set in a loaf pan and iced like a cake with blue cheese dressing, but it seemed like a total waste of ingredients since no one in this house would touch it, including the dogs. So, I settled on a more dog-friendly recipe that was only mildly disturbing instead. This one is called simply “Ham Cones” and it’s from the recipe box of Mrs. Cecil B. Howard of Maryville, Tennessee.



Ingredients:


1 lb. ground ham

1 Tablespoon grated onions

1 Tablespoon parsley flakes

2 Tablespoons orange juice

1 Tablespoon prepared mustard

1 egg

½ cup crushed corn flakes


Now, Mrs. Cecil Howard gives very simple instructions to mix all the ingredients except the corn flakes and shape them into cones. What kind of cones, you ask? I’m not entirely sure. What became clear as I whizzed all the ingredients around in the food processor was that this slurry was NOT going to have enough structural integrity to become a hollow cone. So, I shaped the ham mixture into vaguely cone-shaped lumps and rolled them around in the crushed corn flakes. Then, I baked them at 375 degrees for 45 minutes.



Once they came out of the oven, the dogs were positively giddy with excitement. The rest of the family was a bit standoffish – I can’t imagine why. I tasted one for quality control purposes and HOLY CRAP it was the saltiest thing I’ve ever put in my mouth. And it had a faint orange aftertaste. I immediately went to find the rest of my family to help me taste test!



When I handed one to my husband, he was visibly disappointed it wasn’t ice cream cone-shaped. He REALLY thought we would be able to fill these with mashed potatoes or something. It would probably improve the recipe if you could, to be honest. He was even more disappointed when he tasted them, so he went outside to the smoker to cook us a backup meal.



My daughter couldn’t be reached for comment. Very suspicious that she keeps disappearing while I’m cooking.


Final rating: You could be thrown in jail for attempted murder if you fed these to someone that is watching their sodium levels. However, they are now in high demand with the canines of the household.

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