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Writer's pictureSheila

A Shattered Crystal Ball & the Kitchen Witch

This week I wanted to do something fun and Halloween-y, so I started with a cocktail to get the creativity flowing. Also, my kid had some leftover cotton candy…so the Cotton Candy Cocktail won by default. It only has 2 ingredients:


Prosecco

Cotton candy


Just pour the bubbly, drop in the cotton candy, and drink up! My stolen cotton candy was pink and blue, so it turned my drink a witchy dark purple color. A great start!

Once I had some liquid courage, I decided to try something a little more ambitious. I selected the Chip ‘n’ Dip Bread Witch recipe from the Taste of Home Halloween Party Favorites cookbook. For this recipe, you make a witch out of bread and then cut a spot in her hat for your favorite dip. Sure. No problem. Ingredients:


2 loaves (1 pound each) frozen bread dough, thawed

3 egg whites

Black, green and red food coloring

ONE sliced almond

ONE pimiento-stuffed olive slice

ONE raisin

¼ cup shredded Parmesan cheese

1-2 jars salsa con queso dip

Tortilla chips


The thing that aggravates me most about this recipe is the single almond, raisin, and olive slice. This could’ve been a $10 recipe, but I had to buy a whole bag of sliced almonds and a jar of olives. My kid ate all the raisins, which I didn’t figure out until I went to find my solitary raisin, so the witch is missing her hideous nose wart-mole.


To get started, you defrost your bread dough for six hours. SIX HOURS. She just went from lunchtime witch to dinner witch. I’m sure there’s a fashion daytime-to-nighttime joke in there somewhere. Once the bread dough is thawed, you roll one loaf out into an oval and lop off the top 3 inches to shape into a nose and a set of lips. The other loaf gets shaped into a triangle with a bread twist brim. Don’t ask how. I did my best.

Next, you crack 3 eggs and put the whites of each in 3 separate bowls. In each bowl, you put one of the three food colorings and mix. Then brush the black on the hat, the green on the witch face, and the red on the lips. Put on the almond and the olive for the eye and sprinkle on the Parmesan hair. Let proof for 20 minutes and then bake at 350 for 20 minutes.


When I pulled this witch out of the oven, I was WHEEZING. She looks like she got some lip fillers and a bad spray tan. My husband took one look and shouted, “NAILED IT!”. I immediately FaceTimed my mom so she could witness the atrocity with us. Then we coaxed my daughter out of her room to see it and her reaction was priceless.


While I was waiting on the Bread Witch, I made a dessert called the Shattered Crystal Ball from the same cookbook. Ingredients:


2 packages (3 ounces each) lime gelatin

6 cups boiling water, divided

2 packages (3 ounces each) orange gelatin

2 envelopes unflavored gelatin

1/3 cup cold water

1 ½ cups white grape juice

1 carton (12 ounces) frozen whipped topping, thawed


To start this recipe, you dissolve the lime (or blue) gelatin in 3 cups of boiling water and pour it into a square dish. Then, you dissolve your orange (red) in the remaining boiling water. Next, you sprinkle your unflavored gelatin over the cold water and let stand for 1 minute. Add the grape juice and then (I totally missed this part) cook the mixture over low heat. It turns out if you don’t do this, your whipped topping mixture looks more like cottage cheese. Yay. Refrigerate for 45 minutes and fold in your whipped topping.

Cut your colored gelatin into cubes and set aside 8-10 cubes of each color for garnish. Mix the lime into 2 cups of the whipped topping mixture, and mix the orange into the remaining white stuff. Put the lime mixture on the bottom, top with the orange mixture, and garnish with your extra cubes. Refrigerate for 2 more hours. SIGH.

Seeing as I didn’t dissolve my gelatin in my whipped topping, this didn’t set up. It was more like gelatin cube soup. Which is probably the least threatening gelatin recipe we’ve seen on this blog so far. I served it up in some pretty glass dessert cups, served one to my husband, one to my daughter, and then smashed mine on the counter. Welp, I didn’t want creamy Jell-O soup anyway.

Final Verdict:

Cotton Candy Cocktail – sparkly and entertaining

Bread Witch – hilarious but still delicious

Shattered Crystal Ball – better without actual glass and if you remember to melt the gelatin


Happy Spooky Season, my friends!

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Paul Bossé
Paul Bossé
Oct 31, 2022

That witch came out absolutely priceless :D

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